Today in our writing workshop we focused on replacing "nothing" adverbs and verbs (adverbs and verbs that don't add anything to the description) with stronger and more powerful adverb/verb pairs. We used our writing folders and thesaurus as resources, and our sentences definitely improved! Here are some examples:
Boring sentence:
At the dog show, the judges looked carefully at every dog.
Improved sentences:
At the dog show, the judges squinted aggressively at every dog.
At the dog show, the judges attentively inspected every dog.
Boring sentence:
The German shepherd walked very slowly around the ring.
Improved sentences:
The German shepherd coasted extremly sluggishly around the ring.
The bulky German Shepherd swiftly trotted around the ring.
Boring sentence:
The dalmatian jumped easily onto the chair.
Improved sentences:
The dalmatian pounced lackadaisicly onto the chair.
The dalmation bounded effortlessly onto the chair.
Boring sentence:
After waking up, the golden retriever was hungry and quickly ate his food.
Improved sentences:
After waking up, the golden retriever was hungry and viciously munched on his food.
After violently waking up, the golden retriever was starving and quickly chomped on his food.
After waking up, the golden retriever was hungry and instantaneously demolished his food.
Boring sentence:
Sitting on a girl’s lap, the Chihuahua slept very soundly.
Improved sentences:
Sitting on a girl’s lap the chihuahua slumbered extremely soundly.
Sitting on a girl’s lap, the Chihuahua catnapped very nicely.
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